Halloween Humor
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Posted:Oct 7, 2011 10:33 am
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2011 10:07 am
15210 Views
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You ever wonder where pumpkin pie came from?
Well, now ya know!
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28
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Sex after 40
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Posted:Sep 30, 2011 4:52 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 11:58 am
16924 Views
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Last night I was feeling pretty darn frisky so when the other half got ready for bed I damn near ambushed him!
I wrapped my arms around his neck a layed a passionate kiss on him running my fingers down the small of his back in a circular motion and grinding against him. He responded instantly grabbing a handful of my hair and pulling me closer to him while kissing me back.
He paused a second to nibble on my ear and lay a trail of soft kisses down my throat......our breathing became faster and our actions more frantic.....
I fumbled with the zipper of his jeans releasing his rock hard cock. He practically ripped my shirt off and fumbled with the always complicated bra - I helped him remove it.
He cupped my eager breasts in his hands as he tweaked the nipples with his thumbs and an excited moan escaped my lips.....
Then he suddenly all but dropped those puppies to the floor and jumped back with a quizzical look on his face. Confused I looked down at my own boobs.............and started laughing hysterically!
There attatched firmly to each now hard nipple were the stickers from my mammogram I had earlier in the day.
Laughter is not exactly good foreplay and "Lil Pete" (what he calls his cock of course) went from full on hard to limp noodle in two seconds flat!
Really?
I said fuck it, put on my duckbilled platypus (C-PAP mask) and called it a night......sexy!
Y'all gettin' any?
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42
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Half Me Wednesday - Sports Edition
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Posted:Sep 28, 2011 2:30 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2011 5:46 pm
15872 Views
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Here is my "Half Me Wednesday - Sports Edition" () She was up for a week long visit from Florida and I couldn't resist a play on HNW.....
P.S. I have her permission.....and she is 27 years old!
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36
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The Collection
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Posted:Sep 26, 2011 8:21 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2013 9:30 pm
16559 Views
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My best friend just added to my shot glass collection (we all have our vices, eh?) Her hubby is a trucker and picks me up new ones here and there when he is on the road. Yeah, he's a sweetie. Yeah, she is too!
Well, the newest one had me cracking up pretty good - here's what it says:
I SWEAR TO DRUNK OFFICER I AM NOT GOD!
They knew me so well.......aaahhhhhhh, the good ole days!
What do you collect?
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33
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The Trials and Tribulations of Trailer Towne
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Posted:Sep 23, 2011 2:39 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:51 pm
14223 Views
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My best friend's lived out here in Trailer Towne till recently and he posted something on a certain social network that had me laughing so hard I almost peed my pants - I mean it was close!
OK.....I will call best friend's XXX He is young, 21 years old so I guess I will have to cut him some slack......LOL Here is his post in all it's glory:
Just helped some old lady who had no legs in her car, she was drunk and had ran out of gas a 1/4 mile from the trailer park so i drove all the way to meijer gas station and put 1 gallon of MY MONEY into HER gas tank. and it was 4:30 in the morning. my good deed of the week is done
Here were the responses he got:
Paco Angel: of the week? dude that should cover a fucking year... *thumbs up*
Trevor: damn Kody, keep this stuff up and you'll end up being a recognized humanitarian!
David: So, let me get this straight...you enabled a drunk to drive, and you think you did a good thing?! I'm not sure I should laugh or cry. You are such a martyr, Kody!
Cameron: u should get a standing round of applause, well execpt from her she can remain seated
Judy: David, thats what i was thinking lol WTH?? u should have just brought her home lol
Debbie: Karma just got upgraded
XXX: David- she was like a quarter mile from home and i couldnt drive her home cuz i dont have room in my back seat and she was a big lady
Timothy: Damn, i'm turning into an evil bastard. I thought that all that was a build up for a ground beef joke or you were going to tell her to hoof it.
Nikki: ummm a few questions 1. how was a lady with no legs driving??lol and 2. if she was drunk why would you let her drive home!!!!...especially being drunk with NO LEGS!!! very nice of you and the thoughts though
XXX: if you have no legs and need to drive you get almost like a joystick for a video game and she was like a quarter mile from home thats why i let her drive
Purpletrashcan: ROFLMFAO
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23
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Half Nekkid Wednesday #5
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Posted:Sep 13, 2011 9:39 pm
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2012 12:43 pm
22148 Views
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[image]Here's hoping y'all have a fabulous humpday........Happy HNW
Go big bootie!
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68
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My Idiot Brother
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Posted:Sep 12, 2011 8:14 pm
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2011 8:56 pm
16273 Views
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Now this is a disclaimer for the following story - it takes place in the past - before ole purp quit drinking..... OK, sit back and enjoy.
My idiot brother wanted to go camping with me and begged and bugged me till I finally caved in and let him come with us one particular weekend. The following is proof of what a HUGE mistake that turned out to be.
Shortly into day one of the camping trip the group ran out of liquor. Say it isn't so! Well, idiot brother and I got volunteered to gather supplies - we were way out in the boonies at a "rustic" campground and had to drive a ways to the closest hick town party store.
The minute we entered the store my idiot brother initiates the following conversation:
Idiot Brother:This is my sister, she's a serial killer wanted in West Virginia and Kentucky.
Purp: Shut up idiot!
Clerk:Looks slightly concerned about what morons are in his store.....
Idiot Brother: We need Captain Morgan, Castillo Silver, Hot Damn, and a 12 pack of Bud Light.
Purp: Hey, idiot, don't forget the whipped cream!
Idiot Brother: How big of a container sis? How much ya gonna lick off me?
We were gonna make strawberry shortcake ya sick freaks!
Clerk: Stifles a giggle while still looking a bit nervous and packaging our supplies - I think he was happy when we left.
Purp: Shut up idiot!
As we exit the store my drunk idiot brother tripped over the door sill and stumbled to the car as I loaded our supplies and the local police drive by.......and slow way down to get a good luck.......and then follow us for several miles untill apparently satisfied that I am not a threat of some sort.
Back at the campsite the next day idiot brother paid no attention to us when we suggested he not drink directly from the beer bottle, but rather put it in a plastic cup. Just as he was tipping a beer the cops drove through and ole idiot brother thought he was ao slick as he set the beer down behind a tree.....the officer asked him what he was hiding, made him dump out all his beer and wrote him a ticket. Thats when idiot brother said "then you should arrest my sister too - she defaced public property!" and pointed to where I had spray painted the horseshoes a brighter color so we would quit losing them in the brush. They were leaning against a tree and so there was paint on the tree too.....
The cops started laughing pretty hard as I shot idiot brother the dirtiest looks I could.
That beer cost idiot brother $125 in a ticket and I have NEVER taken him camping with me again.
Ya can't choose your family.
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28
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