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Ghost Writer in Disguise

1. An old blogger went writing on, even though his day was through,
He had blogged for four long years with nothing else to do
He though about retiring then he got his ownself banned
Now here just lies the spirit, of the blog writer Bardicman

Ghost Writer in Disguise.

2. His brain was still on fire though his hair was turning gray.
His writing showed no talent but still he did it anyway.
He was happy on the Roof Top then his world came tumbling down.
He was no longer on the front page and no profile to be found

Ghost Writer in Disguise

3. Other writers loped on by him, and others went their own way
He even retired a few times but the blogging call in him was great
Then he broke the TOU, found his whole damn blog shit canned
Now you know the whole sad tale, and why I ghost write for Bardicman

Ghost Writer in Disguise
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21546 emails
Posted:Oct 6, 2012 5:42 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2013 6:31 pm

I just checked my inbox on the email address attached to this site. First time I have checked it since I went on another hiatus...

21546 emails and not one from some chick on here that wants to bone.

By the way... When I said I was looking for a country girl.... I didn't mean some chick who gets plowed by her dad and brothers from sun up to sun down...
The moment I have been waiting for...
Posted:Oct 4, 2012 9:25 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2013 6:30 pm

I am down to 69 watchers after a long period of absence..

I believe I was misunderstood. I said I would come back if I could watch people doing 69...

So I still have a cock and it still needs attention. It does not need much attention. Just a little wave and a howdy as you pass by. Blow him....
A kiss if you please.
My Week in Review
Posted:Apr 14, 2011 6:58 pm
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2012 9:15 pm
The "Spring Mowing and Gardening Extravaganza" I go through every year has really kicked my ass this year. Not only that but it is leaving one hell of a dent in my wallet...

This week has been a total, TOTAL... Complete... well it has been bad.

It started when I decided it was time to un-mothball the riding mower and get it ready to mow the freaking weeds down in my yard so the grass would have a fighting chance to grow. I rolled it out of the storage unit cleaned it up a bit. Then I filled the tank with 4 dollar a gallon premium gasoline and (2 1/2 gallon tank..... the battery was dead.

I pulled my car around and hooked up the jumper cables and jumped back into the seat and hit the key.

Well I almost hit the key when I noticed there was a puddle of gas growing quite large on and under and basically all around my mower. The gas line had rotted over the winter and all that precious gas was just flowing out. I saw gasoline... I saw jumper cables and thought to myself... Self!!! That is a bad combination.

Since I am an intelligent redneck I immediately pulled the jumper cables off and ....... one spark and I am sitting in the middle of a blazing inferno with my crotch area ( cock and balls ) becoming quite warm.

I got my car out of harms way and about 30 minutes later the flames finally died down around what used to be my Craftsmen Mower. Now it is just a toasty charred hunk of metal with the front tires gone and well.... anything that was combustible is gone. Gone I tell you.

Lucky for me I still have my push mower.......

Then today, I was rushing to get my garden finished before the rain tomorrow. Took a break for lunch. I was sitting there bragging about my tiller to the guys I was eating lunch with. They were talking about the best small engines and I told them I bought my honda engine for my tiller 14 years ago and it has never failed to run and run great. Famous final words.

about 30 minutes into the afternoon push to plant a shit load of corn... YEP... Damn 14 year old perfect motor decided it was tired and threw something out of it that left a gaping hole in the block and gray looking oil leaking out. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!

Luckily I had a friend that just happened to have a used motor he let me have for 75 bucks until I get a chance to hitch up the horses and head to town to buy a new one.

So.... Looks like to me... My awesome yard and garden area are going to cost me in the neighborhood of 2 grand this year just in planting and upkeep. When I think about how much groceries 2 grand would buy... I think I am going in the hole!!!!

And... to top it off. Just when I am feeling really down trodden and needing a little love.. Guess who comes to town... Guess... Nope guess again... ok I will just tell you.

Babes Aunt Flow. Bitch shows up every month at just the wrong time.

Peace out for now. Gotta go rub some aloe vera on my cock and balls. (No, they were not burned in the fire I just like rubbing stuff on them!)

Build-a-Blogger Returns again !!!!
Posted:Apr 13, 2011 7:53 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2011 7:08 pm


Damn DG.... Someone please tell her that the blue G-string definitely makes her cock look HUGE!!!
No Fear of Tears Here Dear.
Posted:Apr 10, 2011 6:37 am
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2011 4:38 am
So I went and visited [blog ThatsMrsR2U] today and she blogged about her daughters first owie. It made me remember the trip home from the hospital with my some 15 years ago.

24 hours after she was born the doctor released her to go home. I kinda wanted her to stay in the hospital until she was 18 or so because there would be doctors and nurses at her beck an call to handle every scrape or bruise that might occur but the staff at the hospital was less than cooperative with me on that idea....

After being refused from all of the military branches on my idea to rent a tank to drive her home in I was finally resigned to just strap her in her car seat and begin the perilous 20 mile journey home..

The first 10 miles or so went ok. My mind was full of thoughts of skinned knees, skinned elbows, and the occasional bump on the head. I was wishing there was someway that I could transfer all that pain to me. The pain of childhood injuries and childhood diseases. I felt I was much better equipped to handle those than this perfect little creature was.

Then my mind decided to fast forward into the future. Fast forward to the point when the little bastard boys of the world would break her heart. When I started thinking about the emotional pain she would go through...

Dear God and Baby Jesus.. I am not gay but I promise you all I can cry like I am. I had to pull over to the side of the road and get my eyes cleared of tears before I could finish the trip home. Even sitting here now thinking about how much crap there is for a to go through tears me up.

She was also never allowed to watch or read "Charlotte's Web". I mean seriously. Who is the dumb mother fucker that would write such a good story but then kill of the main character at the end. I still cannot watch that movie without shedding a good dose of salty emotion.

And Now ... It is time to move on.
Posted:Apr 8, 2011 10:14 pm
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2012 9:21 pm
Basically. there comes a time when we all have to bury the past and then piss on the grave.

The Drama around this site seems to just grow and grow and yet there is no clear cut reason for any of it?

Is it jealousy? Fuck if I know what it is.
Immaturity? Absolutely no idea here.

What ever it is that causes it I just know it is damn sickening.

This is the very reason I hate it. Because when it comes to visit me... No matter how hard I try to ignore... I finally give in and just blow the fuck up!!!

I made my apologies to the parties that were suddenly offended at some comments I had made. I am truly sorry that it happened. I have no fucking idea what the comments were because during all the fun of tossing out comments I was basically labeled a.........

sheep fucking gay midget stripper who seriously needed a make-over and was making wild love to mflater1

Yes indeed, During several HJT's and normal blogging days I was the butt of the majority of the jokes going around. My manhood has been butchered beyond belief. Did I get all mad and shit.. Not at all.. I just turned it on and joined the the heckling of ME.

That's just who I am. I can take it a lot more than I dish it out. My main weakness is the fact that I am too fucking stupid to understand that very few people can play the same battle of wits at the level I can. Call me a Gay and instead of cussing you out I will just come back with something like ... "Well I tried it once but it left a bad taste in my mouth"..... I do not care what I am labeled because I am secure enough in who I am and what I do to be able to be the laughing stock.

Right now I have no idea exactly who all have really been offended by comments made by me. My source states that at least a few people suddenly began wondering what the hell was up with me and why I was acting so...

So.. Here is your answer... If you are one of the people who have decided that I have offended YOU.... Take a good hard look at the comments and cut downs and digs that you were tossing at me... Weigh them against the shit I was tossing back at you... See how the scale levels out.

If you have been offended by me in the past I do apologize but I have lost too many nights sleep and shed too many tears over supposed friendships from here in the past and the ones shed today will be the last.

I am burying the past and pissing on the grave.

Sincere Heartfelt Apologies .
Posted:Apr 8, 2011 6:38 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2022 10:6 am

I found out about three hours ago that I have seriously offended a couple people that are quite dear to me. This action has left me feeling quite contrite and a little bewildered.

When I decided to resume blogging one of the first people to visit my blog was a person I have known on-line for 5-6 years. [blog ariellight1178] and her bestie [blog crisp242] were 2 people I loved interacting with. It was not long before I was a gay midget stripper getting make-overs, Ariel was a detergent snorting mermaid with crabs and Chrispy was more of a cake baker than a man and the digs and cut-downs were flying from blog to blog in what I thought was just harmless fun for the three of us.

I tend to get busy and disappear from here and on-line quite a bit so I had no idea that I had crossed a line somewhere along the way and offended Chrispy and Ariel. Yesterday I took some time to try to catch up with the people I was missing most from here and noticed that I had been banned from Chrispy's blog. I thought he just changed it to friends only and since I really do not send out friend requests it was an over site on both our parts that we were not in each others friend network... So.... The previous post that I have now deleted was posted in what I thought was the same jesting manner that we had always communicated in...

I was wrong.

I fired off an email last night to Ariel because I had not seen her on-line in awhile and in reading her reply when I got off work tonight I discovered that I had crossed a line and my digs and cut-downs and especially my last post were not at all funny.

This has saddened me. Seriously saddened me. I took for granted that the three of us were on some higher level and everything being said back and forth between us on open forums were understood as being nothing more than crude humor.

Chrispy and Ariel. I do humbly apologize to you both. This situation caught me by surprise and I am greatly saddened by it. If you two ever need anything all you have to do is reach out. I am here and I am sorry I soured our good time.
Posted:Apr 7, 2011 4:55 pm
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2011 11:22 pm

This blog post is now pending a serious re-write. Please stay tuned to this channel for a pending update.
Greeting's From Hell
Posted:Feb 22, 2011 6:28 pm
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2011 5:35 am

In the last 4 weeks I have had to deal with the flu 3 fucking times now. It really seems like I get over a case, feel good for 3 or 4 days then go back to bed with feverish fits.

No more burrito's though. The last bout with the flu and fever was this past Sunday afternoon and 4 Krispy Kreme donuts were the crave of the day !!!

Hopefully I will start making my rounds here again some.

For the first time in a month my chest finally feels like it is basically clear now.

Blog Wars 2011.. Sorry Elizabeth... NOT !!!!!
Posted:Feb 8, 2011 6:15 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2013 4:57 am
Interesting thing about War.. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing.. oops I went of on a Tangerine there....

Bad things happen during a war. Its all about the strategic plans of the side (mine) that will be declared the winner.

Subterfuge and sabotage.. Yesterday, my Blogville War kicked off with the execution of [blog Jermsg] Secret Squirrel. Sorry, but the squirrel was fixing to start spilling secrets that could not be allowed out in the open. The Squirrel died so millions of innocent lives would be spared when the secrets started surfacing. Now they are buried with the Squirrel.

Sometimes a death cannot be achieved by a covert operation. Sometimes the guilty party has to be taken out but it has to look innocent..

There is a prime piece of real estate here in Blogville.. A PRIME PIECE that every man who walks these streets would love to occupy. The major problem with this PRIME PIECE of real estate is that it is too often occupied by a fruit....

Not any longer. The fruit has been evicted. Sorry Elizabeth. That damn banana has been blocking that harbor too fucking long.

Guy's, you all can thank me later for taking out that squatter. The harbor has been cleared and the berth opened. My shrimp boat is now cleared for docking in Tuna Town !!!!
My Apology to Jerms...
Posted:Feb 6, 2011 10:00 pm
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2012 6:29 pm
JermsG [blog JermsG] used to have a secret squirrel post.

Not anymore.

It looks like the petty juvenile blog drama is stepping up so I decided to join in and start my own. This is step 1. The senseless slaughter of [blog JermsG] Squirrel.
Posted:Feb 4, 2011 6:14 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:40 pm
Yea, I have been a little scarce around here.

First I got sick and I just really didn't feel like sitting in front of the computer. Now I am feeling better. Still have a nasty cough but...

But what??

But, I have always worked 2 jobs so that means I have always worked some form of second shift. Whether it was when I was playing in a Barroom Band or DJing or cooking...

I always envied people who could watch complete series from start to finish. When LOST came out some 7 years ago or so I said that is the one for me. I will never miss an episode. I never got to watch the first one so I refused to watch any. NOW, omygodyes, Now I can watch them on Netflix. I just started season 4 earlier today. I still have not decided it I like it or hate it. I think I love it.

Something everyone needs to try though... A couple nights ago I was chatting with Ariel and Morty. I was once again spaced on codeine cough syrup. I do not remember how I got started but I was listening to Celtic Death Metal... Celtic Folk Metal... and Celtic Pagan Metal... Talk about some awesome shit. Then I got to wondering... At the end of the song... Do these Celtic Metal Bands throw their bagpipes down on the stage and start stomping on them and stuff????? If they do could you imagine the sound they make

The Shoes
Posted:Feb 2, 2011 7:02 pm
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2011 2:21 pm

What do you do to pay your dues
To a pair of beautiful shoes
The thought was there
The purchase was fair
But then they gave you the blues

The shoes yes, show the shoes
hide your face behind a cowl
Like a wild animal hunting
like a cougar on the prowl

Graceful did you try to move
Sure your shoes would be a hit
Beautiful soles on a soul-less creature
It's now plain they never fit

Graceful you wanted to be
a cougar but more decadent
Alas the shoes they just don't fit
Not when you stomp around as an elephant


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