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1. An old blogger went writing on, even though his day was through,
He had blogged for four long years with nothing else to do
He though about retiring then he got his ownself banned
Now here just lies the spirit, of the blog writer Bardicman
Ghost Writer in Disguise.
2. His brain was still on fire though his hair was turning gray.
His writing showed no talent but still he did it anyway.
He was happy on the Roof Top then his world came tumbling down.
He was no longer on the front page and no profile to be found
Ghost Writer in Disguise
3. Other writers loped on by him, and others went their own way
He even retired a few times but the blogging call in him was great
Then he broke the TOU, found his whole damn blog shit canned
Now you know the whole sad tale, and why I ghost write for Bardicman
YIPEE YI YO YIPEE YI YA
Ghost Writer in Disguise
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Dear Ariel
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Posted:Jan 11, 2011 7:04 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2011 8:54 pm
37997 Views
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Dear ariellight1178,
I guess you got a lot of snow there where you live.
I heard you got an 8 inch pounding last night.
Love,
Bard.
Image is Notlikehereither and [blog ArielLight1178] preparing to make my strangest fantasy come true....
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15
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I Have Two Pussies Now....
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Posted:Jan 10, 2011 3:35 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2011 3:46 pm
37133 Views
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Meet J.C. (just cat)
and
O.C. (other cat)
J.C. is the black cat and O.C. is the black and white one.
J.C. suffers from bad allergies. When he was born he was the runt and his momma tossed him out. My mom and I raised him but since his birth he has wheezy breathing and sneezes a lot. When I had his nuts cut off the Vet told me he had a cold and gave him antibiotics. I told her he had allergies and they antibiotics would not work. I was right.
Anyone else have a cat with allergies? If so what do you do for it?
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12
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BlackHeatLust Beautiful Human Awards
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Posted:Jan 9, 2011 4:06 pm
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2011 9:19 pm
39411 Views
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Over at BHL he is doing [post 2520131] . If you are nominated you are supposed to turn around an nominate 9 more people of your own choosing. I have no idea how to whittle my list down to 9 but here are the ones I offer up.
My first 2 nominations always put a smile on my face. They have a brand of humour that I love. Short, Sweet, Subtle.
mFarter
bustavalvespring [blog bustavalvespring]
The next 5 nominations are people who were here with me years ago. They have always supported me even when I was emotionally flaking out. There is an eternal place in my heart for them.
Solar
newaroundhere64 [blog newaroundhere64]
ariellight1178 [blog ariellight1178]
Purp
KC
The next nomination is for the first person to really "embrace" me when I returned to blogging. I know he was just following the scent of Ariel's nasty ass around but he is funny as hell and a great person to interact with and play off of.
chrisp242 [blog Chrisp242]
My last official nomination is a person that does not blog much but he has been interacting with me on my blog for as long as I can remember. He may not really realize that I consider him a friend and an island in my raging river of life but that is exactly what he is to me.
chasingfun27 Chasing
There are a lot of names I did not post on here that I wanted too. I know most all of them if not all of them have been nominated several times on others blogs. For my other old school blogger friends and my new blogger friends that I did not mention it is nothing personal. I had 9 names to submit. I wish I could have submitted 90. I think that's how many blogs I am watching right now. Rest assured. If I am watching you I appreciate what you do here.
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13
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Thank you DirtyGirl
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Posted:Jan 9, 2011 8:03 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2011 12:17 am
37780 Views
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(Reference BREAKING NEWSPENNYWISE the CLOWN TO MARRY DG )
Wow, I come back and post a couple of pictures of Clowns doing it and [blog DirtyGirl411] makes it clear, in no uncertain term, that she does NOT like clown porn.
Now I hear she is getting married. Yep, getting married!! And not only is she getting married, SHE IS MARRYING A CLOWN!!!
Now I know why she has such a vocal aversion to clown porn. Chances are, when we post a clown porn picture, we are posting a picture of one of her in-laws and the shame is to great for her to bear. So she covers her shame with a faked anger about clown porn. All the while she is typing a one handed response to how much she hates clown porn she is diddling her clit with the other hand.....
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9
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Food Critic
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Posted:Jan 8, 2011 4:37 pm
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2011 8:32 pm
37374 Views
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Babe and eye were visiting her Aunt and she told us about this taco stand on the side of the road. She said it reminded her of the home cooking she had when she was a .
Well, when I travel I look for the little hole in the wall places so I had to try this "Truck of Mexican Delicacy"
If you find yourself in Bradenton Florida and you see this vehicle on the side of the road. Do yourself a favor and stop. You will not get any better anywhere.
All the sauces are homemade while you watch. Heck the woman makes her own pickled jalapenos and they will knock your socks off. Then she makes a pineapple and Jalapenos salsa.... Best thing I ever tasted.
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9
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I should have known better......EP1
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Posted:Jan 7, 2011 9:30 pm
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2011 10:00 pm
37499 Views
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So I was out today doing some people watching at the Mall. This chick came walking by... Holy crap she was hot hot hot.
I was watching the way her legs made an ass out of themselves when she smiled at me. I saw the glint of GOLD braces in her mouth.
I got to thinking about what it would be like to get a blow job from her. Beautifully tanned face, obviously she was money with those gold braces. I could not get the image out of my head.
I got home and the fantasy kept getting stronger and stronger. What would it feel like to get a blow job from a woman wearing braces.
Finally the fantasy got the best of me and I grabbed a piece of steel wool and masturbated.
Have you ever wished you could turn back time????
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7
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The Sea of Despair
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Posted:Jan 6, 2011 7:45 pm
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2011 6:00 pm
36618 Views
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This is a poem I wrote while on a bad emotional trip in February 2006. It is NOT about suicide. Its about a guy like me who had given up on life. A guy like me, who every time he stood up he just got knocked back down again. A guy like me who said fuck it and decided it was a lot safer and easier just staying down.
Floating so deeply, immersed with no care,
Making my home in the Sea of Despair.
Emotions were dying, withered beyond repair
How easily things die in the Sea of Despair.
Frail souls and broken hearts need no one to care
Adrift in the desolation of the Sea of Despair
Though all hope is lost in a life solitaire
Hope is not required in the sea of despair.
Dead inside, not loving, not feeling or sharing
Drifting with deep currents no emotional tearing
Completely submerged and with dead eyes just staring
At peace with my fate so desolate, and uncaring
Suddenly, my eyes catch, a flicker from above
Although tired and weary I give a faint shove
Rising to the surface afraid to make a sound
Less despair draws me deeper and I totally drown
But this light draws me closer and the surface I break
I draw a breath of living such a sudden intake
Scared to venture forth and relive all the pain
But she motioned me onward promising a sweet refrain
She coaxed me, coached me, She invigorated my soul
She took my broken emotions and sought to make them whole
I let her in bit by bit and quit keeping her at bay
Through her loving persistence she did win the day
Little by little all my fears she stripped away
Slowly there becomes order where before was disarray
Now the one that has taken me and taught me to soar in the air
Has once again deposited me on the cold shores of Despair
My thoughts of fate and loneliness she caused me to forswear
I bared my soul for her and showed that I could still care
All for naught for it was not me, alas I just cannot compare
Left alone and gutted empty, my home is calling me there
My feet touch the cold and I shiver as I wade into the sea
The Sea of Despair is calling, calling out to me
For life has lost it reason, lost all hope and lost all rhyme
Its time for me to drift again, and ignore the wheel of time.
The maelstrom that is life, is far more than I could defeat
I am a mere broken mortal and I long for eternal sleep
As the waters wash over me I find I do not care
for once again I shall make my home, in the cold Sea of Despair
As my face slides beneath the surface, in the Sea of Despair
Only a faint ripple remains, for those who might have cared.
A faint ripple that passes , a marker of when I dared
To rise above this desolate land, my home in the Sea of Despair.
Sinking further down and deeper, so deep I don't know where
Its dark where I'm going, Yet no fear is showing
in the Sea
of Deep
Despair
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3
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I Honestly Try to be Real
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Posted:Jan 5, 2011 1:48 pm
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2011 7:49 pm
37331 Views
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This post is mainly a response to [blog kelidgh] and her blog post: What you read isn39t real or is it
Who am I? Does my blogging and responses to blogs make me seem greater than I am? Can I actually answer these questions?
There are a few people on here who have met me in real life so I expect them to judge the authenticity of what I am writing in this post. _Corn_Cobb_ [blog NewAroundHere64].... I am leaving you two guys in charge of calling bullshit if I write something here that you do not agree with.
First of all, My self esteem is moderately intact. I do not have an over inflated ego (much) and I really do not feel like I am no better than dirt. I am happy enough with who I am to live another day (hopefully several 1000 more). In a lot of my blogs or responses to others blogs I will cut myself down (self-deprecate) or portray myself as an idiot. I do it because I think
#1. Its funny and humour is a major part of my life
#2. I am quite comfortable with who I am.
#3. I think it funny when I am able to do it in context with your blog.
#4. Did I mention I think its funny because I have "serious issues"? I look at life like the joke it is so I would list that as my Numero Uno fault. I am not afraid of reality, I laugh at it.
That being said. I like to blog because I really have no real friends in real life. My life is such that I am basically home bound due to responsibilities so this blogging thing is my attempt to get out of the house and have a little fun.
6:15am I get the up and get them ready for school
8:00am is work
4:30pm pick up and go home.
Then its Fixing Dinner..Doing Dishes..Homework..Getting ready for bed....
No time for going visiting and no energy either really but I am not whining. I am just turning to "on-line" socialization....
If I had to rate myself with all men in the world I would say I rate slightly better than average so I do get a little uncomfortable on here when I think someone is trying to rate me higher than that. I am NOT Gods gift to women. I am not sexy as hell. From the chest up... decent. From the waist down...a little above average.. That area in the middle.. well damn that pot belly I can never seem to get rid off.
This is actually a lot harder to write than I thought it would be.
Basically, I am a clown, a jester, a very non-serious entity if you will, I am a real person and I do not mean to put on airs around here if I do. I know the real me and I have no problem with everyone else knowing the real me. I am in love with [blog bardsbabe] and the only way I would ever have sex with another woman is if Babe was there joining in. Yet I love to flirt on here because I am a huge HUGE flirt. I always have been and I always will be. Yet my profile states that I am only looking for a 3rd but does anyone really read profiles?
I guess, if I had to pick the biggest difference between on-line me and offline me, the one area of fakeness if you will... I have learned in Real Life to be basically non-confrontational. My on-line self is still learning that.
I don't want or try to be fake on here. At one point my AsianMatchMate.com circle experience was being hit by fakers from all angles. It got so bad I made an emergency 8 hour trip to Atlanta GA just to make sure there were actually real people on here. Then, a few months later, I went to the big Atlanta meet and met close to 40 real people. Damn it was good.
I don't want to be a fake on here. If any of you ever have any questions you want to ask me... Ask away.... I hold nothing back (except the picture of my gut  ) Alas, the holidays were rough on it but I am back on my diet with the plans to lose 20 pounds from it.
FUCK OFF GEEK!! Barbie here. Guess what I did. I went out today to try and buy me one of those Sybian Sex Machines . When I found one it was a little more than I could afford but then I found this slightly used model and I could not pass it up. Holy Shit. It gets me off faster than a gay judge trying Richard Simmons....
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4
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Rant Rant Tuesday
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Posted:Jan 4, 2011 3:16 pm
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2011 7:19 am
36776 Views
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Two blogs that I have discovered I really like are Some Old Fart in Canada and [blog bustavalvespring] . Both blogs contain dozens of little nuggets of pure humor (humour). Short and sweet and to the point and sometimes they leave me laughing my ass off. Makes me jealous. I wanna be short and to the point and funny as hell. EPIC FAIL on my part almost all the time.
Rant
This is a sex site. If I visit your blog and I see your oozing gash or your big ole floppin Johnson and your post is a bible thumping, Hell fire and brimstone preaching post... STFU (Shut the FUCK Up). You are NOT going to save my soul while I am looking for material to flog the flagpole with or trying to find someone to join Babe and I for a little debauchery. I get enough bible thumpers on the Fack BOO! place. Plus ladies... If all Christian Pussy looks like an ad for a visit to the depths of hell I am really not interested. I mean.. What the hell ... I don't go to church on Sunday hoping the preacher is going to deliver a sermon while his cock is flapping in the breeze. I sometimes find it almost impossible to believe that people actually want to get on a fuck site and preach. If I take my self over to a Christian Blog site and whoop out my Spirit Stick and 2 Rosary Beads I will get banned. I will get banned before I even get the chance to start my hunt for some sweet virginal pussy to re-create the "blessed event" with....
Global Warming Really pisses me off. Its just hard for me to believe that mankind has anything to do with global warming when you consider the fact that right here, where I am sitting right now, was under a few feet of glacier ice a few million years ago. A few million years ago before the Cave men had hairspray and air conditioners (freon)..
Global Warming.. HAHAHA
Number 1. It does not fucking exist.
Number 2. Even if it did and the polar bears are dying am I really supposed to get all teary eyed? Polar Bears eat fish. I eat fish. The less polar bears there are the more fish there is for me.
"But your will never get to see a polar bear"
I never saw a fucking dinosaur either but I really do not believe I am less of a person for it. Had I seen a dinosaur I may have been less of a person for it if the fucker bit me in half.
Sigh... I believe in right and wrong. I do not believe that political correctness has anything to do with morals or right and wrong. Just because something is politically incorrect does not make it wrong (ie the USS Enterprise big boat videos) Just because my views on Polar Bears are oh so politically incorrect does not make them wrong. Oh no Boo Boo, it just makes me smarter than the average bear.
/Rant
Oh, one other thing.
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?? COME SNOWFLAKE COME. SIT. SIT. WTF why aren't you listening to me Snowflake??
Thanks to global warming this poor little has frozen his ears off.
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5
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Juicy Cooter
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Posted:Jan 2, 2011 6:47 am
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2011 8:27 pm
36504 Views
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Are you serious???
I was in Florida shopping with Audrey and her aunt and uncle when I "discovered" this perfume for the first time. I don't know how long it has been on the market but when I first saw it last week I laughed so hard I was actually crying.
Uncle Dave was just kinda starring at me wondering what the hell I was laughing so hard about. I pointed to the sign and he said "holy shit".
I did not even have to tell him where my mind went because he started laughing as soon as he saw it.
About that time the sales lady walked up and asked if she could help us. I asked her if it was legal in Florida to be selling her Juicy Cooter like that.
She blinked. Then she said....
"It's pronounced 'coo-tour'"....
Then I had to say....
"Do you have any 'moist poo-say' face cream"?
Yep, Dave and I were laughing our asses off. The ladies.... hmmm, not so much so. The good news is.. We were allowed to sit on a bench outside in the sun and visit while the ladies finished their shopping.
Juicy Cooter...... OMFG
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4
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Barbie's Freaky Friday Episode 3
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Posted:Dec 31, 2010 4:13 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2010 9:54 pm
34646 Views
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Episodes already in Syndication...
Barbie's Freaky Friday episode 1
Barbie's Freaky Friday episode 2
Been a long week. Poor Barbie here was in desperate need of Ladies Night at the "Phu King Ho Sushi Bar and Bar". Christmas was pretty depressing. The only snow I got to see this year was when I went out with no panties on and the tops of my shoes got covered in dandruff.....
So last night, once again I was hitting those "Jello Shots©" pretty hard and I got to thinking about what LadyU said about just telling Millionaire Ken about the slight indiscretion on my part with Cam Corder Ken and offering to let him join in. I did just that and Millionaire Ken told me he always wanted to try the group sex thing so we went to a swinger club late last night.
Whew ladies, If I had as many sticking out of me as I had stuck in me last night I would surely look like a Porcupine!!!!
I am not so sure I really liked having my main man there with me though, It seemed to me he spent a lot of time messing with Skipper. I never really liked that tart. You can bet I am going to be keeping my eye on her from here on out. (The one that isn't full of sperm......)
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5
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To link to this blog (ICDeadPeople2) use [blog ICDeadPeople2] in your messages.
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