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Blogs > TattooedMasseuse > My Blog

Deep thoughts. By: Jake Handy  

TattooedMasseuse 43M
0 posts
11/26/2021 5:54 am
Deep thoughts. By: Jake Handy

Being alone on Thanksgiving for the I don't know 19th year has brought to some crazy thoughts. Here is my list.

1. What if oxygen is poisonous, but it takes 70-80 years to kill us?

2. People ask; Where's the beef? Did they look in the freezer or the shopping market?

3. Do fish know they smell out of water? If not, they need deodorant.

3. Steven Kings ITs name was Pennywise. Does that mean despite killing of , he was good with money? (If so, I'd hire him as an accountant.)

4. In the saying, "How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?" How much did he really chuck? Cuz I need about 6 cords for the winter.

5. Did you know beer apparently makes you smarter? It has too. It made Bud wiser.

6. Did you know water is only blue due to the reflection of the sky? I just thought it was really depressed.

7. Did you know if you kill two bids with one stone, they actually die?

8. They say every time a bell rings and angel gets their wings...Well, I should be God's right hand man then because I'm a bell wringer for Salvation army.

9. Remember how I said beer makes you smarter? Well, after a 12 pack, and a few shots, apparently it makes you a hell raiser.

10. If a lesbian is into women, why do they still use dildos? Wouldn't that make them Bi curious? You don't see or hear of gay men saying, "Put that fake vagina on my dick." (for the record its part of the jokeyish blog. Don't take offense please.)

11. I've never done acid on thanksgiving....I guess you could say I'm not a tryptophan.

12. To those who have never pulled the cart before the , believe me, its harder than it sounds.

13. When dealing with magpies, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush is not a good idea. Those bastards are violent and vicious.

14. If your say beer can in an Australian accent, you just said bacon in a Jamaican accent.

15. If you say "hair piece" in an Australian accent you just said herpes.

16. If Sunday is called Sunday for a reason, why is it mostly cloudy?

17. Roses are red, trucks are blue, this poem makes no sense, boobs.

18. And I like it.

19. What if tomorrows were today, wouldnt that make tomorrow a day after yesterday, a day before tomorrow?

20. If time heals all things, why do we get older? I mean look at Bud, he hasn't aged a day. He just got wiser.

Deep thoughts with Jake Handy

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