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It's all about me
Posted:Nov 23, 2021 2:56 pm
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2021 6:08 pm
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It all started when I was about twelve. I was molested by a neighbor man. He talked me into having sex with him...actually mutual masterbation. He said it was perfectly normal for boys to experiment with other boys, etc. He gave me my first orgasm while thinking about a girl. It was weird and it got more weird as it progressed. He eventually blew me and I blew him. This went on till I was , almost fourteen. I finally got a girl when I was 18. She was beautiful. I worked in an ice cream shop and she and I were co-workers. I was very shy and had no idea she liked me. But she persisted....thank fucking God. She eventually left and went to college and I joined the US Navy. That was fun. Actually looking back it, it was a blast. I still never got laid much....just too fucking shy. I had no idea how to talk to a girl . While floating around the med I picked a few hookers in Greece and Italy, that was fun, They showed some ropes while picking my pocket, literally.

Life moves of course and I got an honorable discharge. Yeah, free, free at last. I learned so much in the Navy, it was like college. I was a Boiler Technician, learned all about steam engineering. When I got out I went work as a steam engineer at an airport. Not fun but the money was good. Not related but I watched Die Hard II a while back and of course, Bruce Willis is running around an airport (presumably Dulles in DC) and everywhere he runs there is steam leaking...no there isn't Bruce. Also he pops a manhole grate in the middle of the airfield...ok Bruce not going to happen, then he lights a trail of leaking jet fuel with his lighter and it tracks the plane and blows it up . BRUCE....this isn't happening. NEVER! But it's a movie so whatever.

I eventually met a woman, talked her into marrying me and we had a couple wonderful together. We built our life but again, it's life so it moves on, people change and well, we're no longer married. However, we did have a wonderful 35 years. She was never my soulmate which is why I left but she is a good woman. I see her for important family events like Christmas, birthdays and the like. It's always good to see her and I know she's happy even though she apparently hasn't met her soul mate either. I think that for her, I was her soulmate and that she still misses me. This kind of sucks for her because she has a lot to offer someone.

So about the molester. I know that he has passed away, actually many years ago now. When he stopped molesting me he met his future wife, the married, had a couple . I really have no idea how any of this turned out. After our last encounter, I never saw him again but being a small town it was easy to know when he died.

Soon after, especially the years while in the navy, I did fantasize about men, a lot. Having had orgasms with this guy really messed up my head. It was years later when I figured out that I only needed men when woman weren't available. But now, as an older man, I really don't think about having sex with men much. One of the things I know is this: When I'm with a woman, when I sleep with a woman, when I roll over in bed I want to grab her and pull her close. I want our feet entangled, I want my arm around her, I want me face in her neck. None of these things are part of my fantasy with a man. I never want to roll over and pull a man to me. I never want my face buried in his nick and I never want my feet touching his...ever. All those loving feeling are reserved for women. Never does the thought cross my mind to ever have this feeling for a man. This has always been an observation from myself to myself. My love is not meant for a man, only for a woman. For a man it was always just the physicality of it all. It's weird that I can suck his dick but never touch his feet, hold his hand, kiss his neck.

For anyone who ever reads this...actually no one will read this but in the chance that a molester may read this....don't molest . Allow that poor, little, insecure boy to grow up before you decide that he is cute enough to abuse. As we are vulnerable. We trust, we obey. Please keep your impure thoughts and actions to yourself and allow that little guy to become a man.

I hope you enjoyed this blog. It's probably too long and it probably doesn't flow well but I don't care.
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The love of my life
Posted:Dec 4, 2021 7:20 am
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2021 4:25 am
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If you've looked at my profile, you know I'm old. Not really old, but getting there. I am active as all get out, so that helps keep young. But age is creeping faster that I'd like. So onto the point. While still working, my job took different countries. While living in Spain, I learned Spanish. While living in Algeria and Morocco I learned French. After I retired, I decided take French at the local school adult education so that when I traveled back France and Morocco I could really communicate. I did this for several semesters. This was a classroom setting and there were - students in the class. Our teacher was a 40 something French woman, tres petite et tres mignonne. She was vivacious, energetic, had really cute toes and I really looked forward to the class each week. Her accent was very cute and sometimes she would search for words in English that was just adorable. She'd mispronounce English words all the time which was super adorable, and all this made the class very fun. Everyone loved her....me included.

After a couple years, she and I began to flirt, like obviously flirt...like she always picked on me, I picked on her back and during the pause, we always chatted. This went on for several months. At the time I was still married so for me it was just fun. I had no idea that she had become obsessed with me and wanted more.

One day she asked me to help her make coffee in the cafeteria. While downstairs, before the class had started, preparing the coffee, she looked into my eyes and kissed me. Yep, right on the mouth. She said she was tired of the flirting and she wanted more. I explained that I was married, she said she didn't care. I was all in baby.

So this love affair started and it was very very hot. I would go to her house in the morning, after my wife left and before she went to work. We would make love for a couple hours and we learned that we were both quite insatiable as well as both very uninhibited about our bodies. As it turned out there was a 19 year age difference but it didn't seem to bother her and well, it didn't bother me either.

After several months of some very erotic, high energy sex that took us both to places we'd never been, we fell in love. I announced to my wife that I no longer loved her and that I wanted a divorce. My new love of course was long divorced and all I wanted to do was to be with her night and day. Sounds fun right?

So after some time, I moved out. I bought a house in another town, one that I could afford after our settlement. My love and I decided that she would keep her home near her work and we would commute to each others homes for the weekends. This was great at first. I'd go to her for like Thursday through Sunday on one week and she would come to me for Friday evening, Saturday and leave Sunday morning the next week. We filled our days with hiking, working on my new place, working on her place, walking our dogs, cooking, drinking and just living. Then life messed it all up.

How you ask? Well remember that age difference, yeah that 19 years? It kinda got in the way. You see, I began to slow down a bit. I couldn't keep up with her insatiable appetite. She accused me of wanting a new lover (so stupid) and I accused her of falling out of love with me. It all just became a mess. She did in fact, after some time fall out of love with me. I know she wanted someone new, she wanted someone her own age, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with someone, not to spend the rest of my life with me. There is a subtle difference there. I guess in 10 years or so she didn't want to find herself being nearly 60 and without someone by her side. I think she decided that she didn't want to be a widow, so she cut it off while she still could.

Me, I'm heart broken, devastated, lost and on here looking for someone to fill that gap. It's been nearly 3 months since our split and I am getting better. It's lonely though and I fill my time with wood working (literally). At the moment I am making a sled for my 18 month old grand-. I just finished making a grill side table, cabinet thing for my patio that I recently finished. I miss this woman something fierce and I hope to God that my love life isn't finished. I miss having someone to hold onto, love in the middle of the night, abuse when the time is right and to be abused when the time is right (some things that we taught each other during our 3 years together).

If you read this I want to give a piece of advice....don't assume that she will love you forever. She won't. You have to continually make her love you, continually woo her, continually make her laugh, support her, be there for her, pick her up when she falls down and just love the heck outta her. Then and only then, will you be guaranteed a lifetime of love.
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