AN INTERVIEW WITH A SMARTASS - a Blog Post by spunkycumfun

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1/10/2022 5:43 am

AN INTERVIEW WITH A SMARTASS

By popular demand, it is my pleasure to have recently interviewed smartasswoman, a long standing and much admired member of blogland. Below are her answers to the twenty questions I asked.
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An obvious question first. Are you a smart ass?
Yes, I would say that I am, although maybe not as much as when I first adopted the username in 2005. I have tried to work on being more of a kind person, and that sometimes interferes with making a sarcastic comeback.

What three words would you use and what three words would your close friends use to describe your personality?
I would say I am introverted, smart, and hedonistic (in that I like my pleasures such as good food and massage - it does not apply so much in the sex realm any more).
I asked a couple of my friends. One replied: generous, warm-hearted, and this is hard to limit to just three words, because I want to say wildly adventurous homebody. You are very difficult to sum up. The other said: creative, kind, data driven, smart!

From your blog, it is clear you are a voracious reader of books. What book is your favourite book, and why?
I am a big Jane Austen fan, and my favorite book of hers is Pride and Prejudice. I even had a P&P themed profile for a short while, By Popular Demand, MissJaneAusten, and was contacted by a Mr Darcy in England.

Also from your blog, it is evident that you are an accomplished knitter. Have you ever knitted or been asked to knit a willy warmer?
It has been suggested to me a few times, but I have not had a model to fit-test one on. At some point I might make an attempt at knitting a bralette and boxer briefs for myself.

What types of music do you like? Do you have a favourite song?
My tastes are pretty eclectic, but if you were to look at my music collection, the largest section would be alternative rock. Favorite song would depend on my mood. When I am feeling a little down it would be Cure for Pain by Morphine. When I just want to blast my ears out with a loud rock song, Another Girl, Another Planet by The Only Ones.

What type of movies do you like? Do you have a favourite movie?
Once again, eclectic but I do tend to gravitate toward lighter fare. I would guess the movie that I have watched the most number of times would be Groundhog Day. It is funny and deep at the same time, and I love Bill Murray.

If you had to live your life in another time and place, when and where would you be?
I am actually pretty fond of modern conveniences, so I do not romanticize the past. I do not know, maybe Paris in the 1920s, because there were so many interesting artists and writers? Out of curiosity I looked on the Quora web site and virtually everyone answered that NOW is the best time to be living. Maybe qualify that a bit and make it 2015 before Covid and the Orange One.

You are from Saint Paul in Minnesota where much of the Fargo movie was filmed. Is Minnesota really like how it is portrayed in the movie?
I would say it is pretty accurate to rural Minnesota. Those of us who live in Minneapolis-St. Paul would like to think we are much more sophisticated than that, haha. But when meeting people in other places, I have had them comment on my Minnesota accent.

When a , what did you want to be when you grew up?
You know, I do not really remember. I do remember my dad speculating that I would become a librarian, because I read so much.

When was the happiest time of your life, and why?
Tough question. I have fond memories of the ten years or so after college, when I was going out to see music every weekend and sometimes during the week too! I do not know that I was always happy during those days, though; there was drama with boyfriends and roommates and so forth.

How many times so far have you fallen in love?
I have been smitten with a few different men, and in only one of those cases was it returned enough to turn into a long term relationship.

Why did you join this site? And in particular why did you decide to blog?
I was newly single after a 14-year relationship, not having any luck at all on traditional dating sites, and the ratios on this site seemed like they would be in my favor. I actually started blogging on MySpace (remember Myspace?) writing about some of my more peculiar adventures here. I wish I had kept a copy of those posts. Sometime in 2006 I noticed that this site had a blog section. For a while I posted in both places, then after MySpace died out it was only here.

The opening words on your profile are, and I quote, Fat old lady with a waning libido . I cannot comment on your libido but you are certainly not fat. Why do you open with these words?
I gave up on meeting anyone from the site years ago. It occurred to me that when people mouse over a user they just see the first few words of the profile so I thought I would make the opening as discouraging as possible. It is also honest - I might not be morbidly obese, but my doctor would agree that I am obese. I am pretty good at taking flattering pictures so a lot of people have commented that they do not believe it.

You write about kink meets in a few of your blog posts. What do these meets entail?
The group that I spend the most time with has a munch once a month. A munch is a low-key get together in a vanilla setting for people to get to know each other. We have a discussion topic at every munch. Then, we try to have a party every third month (obviously this has changed during the past couple years). Parties are in a private home that has a dungeon with things like spanking benches and massage tables. People bring their own equipment such as crops and floggers. We do an icebreaker game that involves doing one minute scenes with people, and then for the rest of the party people do their thing as space and equipment allows. I would say most people have talked before the party to pre-arrange playing with each other.

Are you dominant or submissive, or do you switch? Or have I missed the point?
I consider myself a switch. Probably leaning more toward the side of topping. I am happy to give a spanking or flogging to almost anyone, but pretty selective about letting anyone else top me. With the right person it can be fun and awful and intense at the same time, and I like the buzzy endorphin feeling afterward.

How did you get into this world of kink?
I had an encounter with a man where he held my hands down while we were having sex, and found that pretty exciting. It turned out he was kinky and we later had a true kink scene. I did not like everything about it, but was intrigued and started checking out Alt and later Fetlife.

Are there any sexual acts that you have not done that you would like to do?
I have had fantasies about being with two men, but as I have said a number of times, I have a big problem finding even one man who I would like to have sex with; two seems impossible at this point.

If you could invite three people, dead or alive, to join you at a dinner party, who would you invite?
Dorothy Parker, David Sedaris, and Trevor Noah - it would be a laff riot.

What traits most turn you on and off people?
Turn ons: intelligence, sense of humor, not taking oneself too seriously, good communication skills (can keep a balance between talking and listening). And it is hypocritical since I am not fit, but a fit body and athleticism are a turn-on for me.
Turn offs: bragging, rightwing politics, making a lifestyle out of having a motorcycle.

If you had one wish, what would it be?
That the world would get serious about trying to stop global warming. I worry for my nieces and nephews and their .
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Do you have any questions for smartasswoman?
If you would like to read more interviews of bloggers, who should I interview next?

smartasswoman is happy to stay behind and answer any questions you may have for her. So please post your questions as a comment within.

This is the third interview with a blogger I have done. The first interview, a while back, was with kinkyfem73 - see PIMPING KINKY; and the second interview, more recently, was with staci_19702 - see [post 4431766].