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2/19/2009 8:57 pm |
I've been fending for myself for 13 years. I don't think there is such as thing as alimony in Texas. BTW...half of nothing is nothing. All I got in the divorce was my freedom, which is worth more to me than any sum of money. It's not getting what you want...it's wanting what you've got. [post 1934719]
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2/19/2009 9:11 pm |
Alimony can be awarded to men just as easily, and I do know a man that gets it. Nobody can know all of one person's situation so I dont think it fair to judge one or another in these instances. In the end it's up to the courts to decide. I could get alimony from my husband, but I decided not to.
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Yes, it's justified, especially if you gave up your career to be a domestic. As a matter of fact, men who become house husbands get alimony in a divorce, so do men who are in dead end jobs with wives who are successful. The door swings both ways. However, judges rarely award alimony anymore. Women are expected to reenter the work force and provide for themselves and their children on $10 an hour, as most judges don't have a clue. The fastest growing poverty group in this country for the last 20 years? Educated divorced women with children. Being awarded child support and alimony doesn't mean he's going to actually write the checks. Sure, there are men and women paying support and/or alimony who are being screwed as their ex-partners had better lawyers. While in the minority, those are the cases that we hear the most about. But it's been next to impossible for educated women to reenter the workforce for the last ten years, when they've been in a domestic situation. Even if they go back to school to brush up on their office skills. Employers want people who have been in the workforce. They feel anyone who has been out for any length of time no longer has the proper people skills. They don't want to hire divorced women with children because they don't want to bother with them calling in because the kids are sick, they don't want to bother with the paperwork for FMLA, etc. They're also going to take the candidate they can pay the absolute least. So, these educated women are trying to make their way on $10 an hour with kids in tow. I know a few. What they get in child support and alimony is a joke and is not keeping them in style. They are all struggling.
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2/20/2009 7:25 am |
The only problem I have in your post is.....it's THEIR kids. I think that is an underlying problem in marriages that end in divorce....Selfishness. Making the sacrifice to commit to a marriage means that all the duties and expenses should be shared, equally, or some sort of arrangement made between the spouses ( I'll cook...you clean). I hear it too often.....I cook for HIM....I take care of HIS kids....I clean HIS house. Hold on a sec, sister.....doesn't he provide anything to the relationship??? If he doesn't, you were a fool to marry him in the first place! And besides....those kids are yours too. You share them. Just like you should share the duties of the chores of everyday living. It's called sharing. Parents should teach kids what sharing is, or we'll keep having selfish jerks around us. I would have no problem paying my ex alimony...IF...she made sacrifices to her personal life like you used as an example to better our marriage. Geeeez.....just thinking about this gives me a headache. Thank goodness I'm single, and staying that way!
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I did get awarded "spousal support" for the next 20 years I do get a sizeable amount from my ex. We were married for 24 years, well ok 26 legally & the last 10 I quit working to stay home finish raising our children, do the domestic side of the marriage with no qualms. The divorce request did come as a shock to me but yes I have moved on and yes I still feel I was more than justified in agreeing to the amount I ended up receiving. Hell I wanted a hell of a lot more than I ended up getting but I know I am one of the lucky few who does receive it faithfully (so far not even a year into it) and that it does afford me not to have to work.
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