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Blogs > kick_on > cooking up a storm

Cold leftovers  

kick_on 56F
43 posts
10/13/2009 7:12 pm
Cold leftovers

I have no idea what I'm going to write this evening. I just know that I'd really like to talk and I have no one to talk to. The last time I had a day off I didn't speak a single word.

All day I didn't speak. Now, don't get me wrong, I genuinely didn't mind. I'm a very private person and really enjoy a day by myself but when you look at it, the scenario is not good. It's not normal to spend the entire day silent....or is it?

The National Office of Statistics say that (in Britain) in 1971 just 18% of households were people living alone, by 1991 it had risen to 27% and now stands at 7 million people. They predict that by 2021 approx 71% of households will be people living alone.

71%. Thats an ENORMOUS percentage of us. Why is it happening? Is it because we're moving apart and losing the "family ethic"? Is it because we are all having shorter marriages (because we can't be bothered to put the effort in and really strive to make our marriages work?), is it because we are all becoming more suspicious of each other and therefore don't meet so much because we might all be axe-murderers/ ? Or is it simply that we all work so bloody hard that we can't face getting our sorry arses out on a week night for a date??!!

Better minds than mine have failed to come up with an answer but I'd be very interested to hear your views

xxxx

husboredshare 60M
Ask me for a photo

10/13/2009 8:02 pm

 I believe we are so into ourselves that the family thing just doesn't fit our culture. We want what we want, when we want it on our terms. Family means compromise so that everyone is unhappy with the result....

And Im happily married with a family


kick_on replies on 10/14/2009 2:59 pm:
That's a fair point, the whole thing is kind of sad though don't you think? We've become so selfish that we're blunting our ability to enjoy each others company.

bev60638 50M/48F

10/13/2009 8:07 pm

 I go with working are asses off. To pay for all those who dont.lol


kick_on replies on 10/14/2009 3:01 pm:
That's one of my "most likely" reasons

haversack_smith 47M
6189 posts
10/14/2009 2:01 am

 I live alone so I have lots of days like that - though strictly speaking I'm not 100% silent on those days, because I do talk to myself. A lot.

The reason I live alone is basically that there's no-one to live with me; it's simply never happened that a relationship has developed to the stage where we'd consider living together. (As I'm in my thirties now, some people will say that this means I'm emotionally stunted or commitment phobic or whatever. That's not how I see myself, but who knows...)

While the first few years of living on my own were a great growing experience for me, I'm at the stage now where it would be nice if there were someone else around to talk to, to make a cup of tea for, etc... it's not so bad on workdays because I'm out so much, or at weekends if I go out and do lots of stuff where I'm surrounded by other people, but on those days where I'm stuck at home doing chores, cleaning, gardening or maintaining the place... then it does get rather lonely.

The 71% figure does sound impossibly high though.


kick_on replies on 10/14/2009 3:11 pm:
It does, it sounds insane!

Do you think that maybe the images that we're surrounded with have made us too chosy? That our expectations have been raised to an unachievable level? That maybe in years gone by we would simply have married the girl/boy next door because we liked them and we didn't know that they didn't look like Kristin Scott Thomas/George Clooney?
And to continue with the point raised by optiskeptic, maybe we would've remained married to them because we couldn't afford not to be?

horny196364 60M

10/14/2009 12:37 pm

 love to chat with you sometime


haversack_smith 47M
6189 posts
10/14/2009 3:51 pm

 Do you think that maybe the images that we're surrounded with have made us too chosy? That our expectations have been raised to an unachievable level? That maybe in years gone by we would simply have married the girl/boy next door because we liked them and we didn't know that they didn't look like Kristin Scott Thomas/George Clooney?

Hmmmm I don't think so... I can only speak for my own circumstance, but I think the suburbs and smaller families are a lot to blame... I could never have been satisfied with the girl next door because there wasn't a girl next door. Or anywhere else on my street. I'm sure mine can't have been a unique experience.

Sixty or seventy years ago there probably would have been a boy or a girl next door, or failing that the door after... and probably he or she would have had five or six brothers and sisters of varying ages. There'd be lots of choice in your immediate vicinity. Nowadays... not so much. Plus we don't socialise so much with our neighbours... I know the names of the people immediately to the left and right of me, and the person immediately opposite me... that's IT. I've never even spoken to most of the other people in my street. We're all out of our houses and into our cars, there's no opportunity to get to know each other. Technology has made the world much smaller but our lives have become much smaller too, we're much more isolated than we were before. It's something I'm only now learning that I need to battle against.


kick_on replies on 10/16/2009 2:22 pm:
A very valid point, I think people are travelling much more, moving away from the places they were born and raised. Vis, the teenage battle-cry - "Can't wait to get out of this dump!" The grass has been greener for some time now and I think that's part of the problem. We can't wait to "get out" and make our own way so the faimly unit has disintegrated to a large extent. It's sort of related to the "boy/girl" next door point, days gone by you'd have been more likely to marry someone in the locality, settle and raise the family and therefore contribute to the extended family. Now, we move away to a brave new world and then discover that we don't know a soul and are lonely as hell.

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