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Blogs > MissAnnThrope > Misanthropic Ramblings |
Form Letter
Form Letter After getting yet another form letter this morning from someone who didn't bother to read my profile, I sent him a form letter in return. I am presenting what I sent here. I am open to comments and suggestions, as this is a first draft. Once the final draft is done, I will offer this up as free domain to anyone who wants to use it. Thank you for your letter. Sadly, I regret to inform you you are not a match because (check all that apply): [ ] I have no interest in men who send form letters. [ ] It is obvious you never read a word of my profile. [ ] I don't date men your age. [ ] I don't date married men. [ ] I don't date men with no face pics. [ ] I don't date men with no pics. [ ] I don't date men with something to hide. [ ] I don't date men who don't fully fill out the chart questions. I do wish you good luck in your search for a sperm-burping gutter slut. Sincerely, MissAnn Comments? Suggestions? |
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I think that sums it up perfectly, Ann. Love that kick at the end, though. You took the words right out of his mouth with the "gutter slut" dig. He never saw it coming. DIV "My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur
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7/6/2006 7:35 am |
I think it looks good. When you are done, it would be a good idea to put a link to it at the top of your blog. Once you make it available to everybody, people can modify it or add things to suit them such as "I dont date people with cock pics". Steve
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7/6/2006 8:09 am |
Before the closing sperm-burping gutter slut sentence, (where DID you come up with that ) you can add: You must meet the following requirements (check all that apply) []a brain []common sense []morals []a sense of humor []a sense of grammar []teeth []_____________[insert other missing quality here] tee hee
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7/6/2006 10:57 am |
kelli, yes I have had that, and I have had them wait a while and then make other profiles just to try and email me. This one guy did that 3 times if I remember correctly.
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7/6/2006 10:58 am |
miss, you could add: []I have no interest in men who send one-liner emails []No! I dont want to call you. those are two that I can think of off-hand.
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7/6/2006 3:18 pm |
I do wish you good luck in your search for a sperm-burping gutter slut. LMAO......FUNNY!!! Miss Ann you need to be doing stand up comedy!
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That would work perfectly. Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?
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Um, er, ah ... A little harsh?
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7/6/2006 4:43 pm |
Nice ending...though I do have to add some grammar correction. Original statement is in red, corrections are in blue... ''I don't date men with no face pics. I don't date men with no pics.'' I don't date men who don't have face pics on profile. I don't date men without ANY pics whatsoever on their profile. Hope that helps!!! BTW...love that term gutter slut I'm leaving the site end of March. To those who want to keep in touch, see blog for details.
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Hilarious need to add [] Write emails with the subject or text containing "wanna fuck" [] Write cheesy erotic stories in lieu of an email. RF
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7/6/2006 5:36 pm |
[]I don't date men who can email me 2x in one week but haven't updated their profile in at least 2 years. That one always gets me because these same guys bitch when they don't get responses back. I guess since they don't look at our profiles we aren't supposed to pay attention to theirs either?
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Nice ending...though I do have to add some grammar correction. Original statement is in red, corrections are in blue... ''I don't date men with no face pics. I don't date men with no pics.'' I don't date men who don't have face pics on profile. I don't date men without ANY pics whatsoever on their profile. Hope that helps!!! BTW...love that term gutter slut i lost my virginity years ago..... but i still have the box.....
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7/7/2006 7:53 am |
Another potential AUTOREPLY: Thanks for applying to this important and well compensated role. Your email will be run through our automated match software and should there be a fit, the computer will prompt you for additional responses to a more detailed questionaire. The computer and I wish you well. And remember, don't call us, we'll call you. In fact if you do make it to the last round, we'll also use your credit card for a few small purchases. You won't even notice them.
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7/7/2006 10:06 am |
I guess he got the point now
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7/7/2006 3:42 pm |
So where are all these slack-jawed jizz gurgling cum drunk sperm burping gutter sluts?
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