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| Blogs > educatedaccent > First Date - Public Place |
Mood Matching? Does It Matter?
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Mood Matching? Does It Matter? Mood Matching A business success newsletter points out that if you take goods back or complain about a mistake in a loud aggressive tone, the other person is likely to catch your mood. So you won’t get customer service but customer dis-service. How can I apply this to emailing and profiles? If a person lists their tastes in music, rather than the physical characteristics of the person they hope to meet, when looking for a conversation opener, you are likely to respond about music. I was rather surprised to open a letter entirely describing the writer’s fantasy about sex, involving him and me ‒ or a woman, when I had sent this man an email describing what I did for a living and what I did in my spare time. I felt that he should have looked at my letter before replying. It does not suggest that he will have a concern for what I want. Does this suggest that he lacks social skills? That he cannot play part of a team? He has no training nor interest in psychology. That he is not interested in harmony? Perhaps I am looking for a nurturer. Somebody who will court me and flatter me. But he is looking for a submissive woman who will do whatever he wants. In our culture every woman still has a submissive side. But socially we expect women to be a little more forthright. Can you expect a woman over forty who has brought up to be immediately submissive to a strange man? This is possible in role play or a conversational game, but in my opinion only after they know each other well enough from repartee to see which role the other person happily adopts. Some people write embedded replies. They alternate your previous email’s sentences with their own in a contrasting color, occasionally even a different font. That ensures that you are engaged in a dialogue, not a monologue. You don’t miss out anything vital. (I sometimes miss out a vital question and get the irate reply: YOU HAVE NOT ANSWERED MY QUESTION!) Usually the question is a personal one which I have no intention of replying so early to a total stranger. Am I expecting too much? He would argue that I should be replying in similar fashion to his email. But he has lost me. If the email was half and half, maybe. MIRRORING Sometimes I say Hi when the other person starts Hi, and Hello if they start hello. I look to see how they sign off. WINK, WINK That's one reason why I usually like a man to write to me first. I wink. He replies. He becomes the hunter and courts me. In a newsletter where I had set myself up as an expert, I would give a definitive opinions and block anybody who disagreed. What this man has sent me is a newsletter. His thoughts. Never mind mine. He is selling himself. Take it or leave it. If you don’t want his product, you unsubscribe. I like interaction. To me that is most of the fun. Learning new things. Getting the other person animated - but not angry. That is the joy of emailing. You get a reply. For me that is part of the pleasure of blogging. And that is why I shall end my blog like this: What do you think? 'Elizabeth'[   |
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11/8/2007 9:36 am |
Excellent. Most forget that the first definition of intercourse is related to communication not the physical. Taking the time to get a sense of a person builds lasting relationships. Your astute observations and responses to people keeps others looking in that 'what just happened here?' expression since most often, we all just blabber and rarely really listen. I just reread some stats that show listening skill are least taught but most of us want someone to really hear what we are saying. Have a great day!
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Excellent. Most forget that the first definition of intercourse is related to communication not the physical. Taking the time to get a sense of a person builds lasting relationships. Your astute observations and responses to people keeps others looking in that 'what just happened here?' expression since most often, we all just blabber and rarely really listen. I just reread some stats that show listening skill are least taught but most of us want someone to really hear what we are saying. Have a great day! We English teachers often teach pupils how to comprehend written English. But spoken English tests are saved for English as a Foreign Language. Yet listening is important for sales, voting for political candidates, and romance. You also have a great day! 'Elizabeth'[
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