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Blogs > potbelliedman > Whats going on in this world? |
Sorry to have kept ya'll waiting.
Sorry to have kept ya'll waiting. I know, I know...it's been a while since I've blogged, and I've been hearing about it from a few of you for some time now, so tonight, I decided to sit down, and bang one out. (I mean bang out a blog on my keyboard...get yer mind outta the gutter.) A lot has happened since my last blog, and I'm sure I'll forget most of it while I touch on the points I do wanna discuss, but I've been busy getting to know a lot of old friends, and been hanging out on some other sites too. The advice lines that I once held so dear is in total shambles now a days. All the multi profilers who once graced it claiming it was obviously set up for fun, and not really the idea of sharing advice and stories have really turned it upside down by arguing amongst themselves, putting each other down, bitching about how other mulitis act, or the quality of the threads....It's gotten so stupid there I hardly even log on to check it these days. I'm so back logged on catching up on my readers blogs that I'll probably never be caught up, and in total honest, because of one of the ladies I mentioned in my last blog, I've not been looking around for potential new mates. Things with that new friend have been complicated by time issues we both have, and unfortunately, a lack of two way communication at times which is a big red flag for me, as that's how my last gf acted right before dumpin my ass...we've cleared things up a bit since then, but I've decided I can't wait around forever on the nights we used to meet on so often wondering if she'd show up or call, so I'm moving on to meet other people once again. (Which I'm sure she's also doing.) But like with all my friends, she has a special place in my heart, and I'm available for her when she needs me, or even just my ears or eyes. I feel like I'm in a downward spiral as far as my health goes. I've been drinking way too much lately, getting out of shape again, not eating right, and generally wasting away. Some of you already know about a condition I have where sometimes I have heart palpitations, or sudden drop in my blood pressure. These problems are becoming more acute lately too. I was at work just a couple days ago talking with one of my co-workers who I actually like and was having a feeling like someone gripping and squeezing inside my chest, followed by weakness. My friend was really concerned as I looked bad (Or so he says.) and I kept joking "Come on God...Kill me! I'm waiting damn it!" As you know, I already feel like I've lived past what I was supposed to, and that's why I find this condition so funny. No matter how many times I'm hooked up to an EKG machine, or have a BP cuff strapped on, I never get to find exactly the source of my problem...although I believe it comes from my current life style. I suppose I could do things to help change it. Live more healthy, stop smoking stogies, eat right, get my cutting edge back by getting in shape, but it's much easier for me now days with my lackadaisical attitude to be lazy. Some of the friends I've been catching up with are amazed by my life story. They think it's book material. They might be right, but to me it all seems like it was another guy and another life when I'm telling them about my history over the past 10 or more years. I've changed so much, and not all for the better I might add. Of course some things have, as I've gotten more education, and make more money, but part of my brain feels that this is the root of my current problem. More money means having the means to buy and do what I want, and more education has put me in a position where I don't feel the same way about the world as I used to. So old Ken has to find a happy medium where he can sort through the good ol' days that he wants to remember, but lock away the bad habits of the here and now while keeping the same mindset that the here and now is all we really have going for us anyways. I don't know what all I'm really trying to say here. I guess I'm just feeling like my life is some sorta test tube, where chemical reactions take place, but no real results are ever anticipated, and I want that to change. I'm sick and tired of bein' sick and tired so to speak. I know the things I want, and normally would go after them, but lately I'm not doing that. So tomorrow, I will set aside some time for deep meditation to talk with my inner core to find out what I need to be doing to get back on track. I'm tired of not having a degree (Aside from in a black belt.) I'm tired of not having a stead partner(s), I'm tired of being unhealthy, I'm tired of always being the one in control, or the center of attention. I'm tired of being tired. I've lost focus on so many things. And it's time to get my ass back on track. It's a sad state of being when a man has no love or desire for anything he once cherished or grasped onto so tightly. I feel like a leaf being blown off target by the breeze as it falls from the top of a tree. Ken |
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I'll post again once my mind is back in order. Ken
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Hey hun, I am glad you are back. I was worried about you. I am sure you will get your mojo back soon. Take care of you and I will hopefully catch up with you soon. Linda xxx
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1/13/2008 7:55 am |
I have an ear for ya always, Ken darlin. Anytime you wanna talk, vent, rant, rave, whatever, is ok with me. Ya got my number dammit...use it! Sending big ol hugs to ya XOXO ~Heavn
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1/13/2008 1:13 pm |
Hey you sorry to hear things have cooled off for ya. Don't worry about catching up on the blogs just stick to the current ones. Sounds to me like you need to find something to FOCUS on sounds like you are spinning in circles and drifting because you don't have a real direction. So STOP re-acting and start acting. Take care of yourself.
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I for one was glad to see you back, both here and on the ad lines! The denigration that it has sunk too because of half a dozen people and the many, many ulterior handles they have is depressing! But ya your right the fact that they have started to in-fight is a nice upside to the whole mess LOL. Regardless, the rest well I went through my blip in July and you reminded me that if it didn't work out, I was not to forget that there are other's who would jump at the chance. So I'm here to remind you of the same thing....... Sultry
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Ken If you don't take the time to figure it out ...Karma will find a way to make you. Hugs and misses. Donna Someday is today.
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Nice to see you Ken - hang in there baby, it will get better. Sending you large hugs. BehindMyBlues
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1/17/2008 8:42 am |
Well...I know what ya mean. Although things are starting to become very good for me. I decided to step up and do something and I did. Now everything seems to be going in the right direction...so far...lol. First day at college was a riot btw. I was so lost. And I don't have my books yet so it made it kind of a pain in the butt. Didn't seem to need them anyway tho. But nah...so far so good. I really hope you can get in somewhere. It would be cool to see you around. Oh and go to the damn doc!! Jesus! LOL! j/k So as soon as I figure out how things are gonna go we should have a movie night or something. I have a lot to tell you about my trip to Wisconsin. hehe It was awesome! Well...anyhow..I hope you feel better soon and you know my number and all that if you want to talk or whatever. Hugs and kisses! Bobbi
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2/5/2008 8:53 pm |
Hey long time no talk. My phone is always on and always near me. U arent alone in tired of being sick and tired. I cant wait for spring,this weather is killing me. Anyways hope things get better,kisses.
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2/7/2008 2:42 pm |
Shit, Im getting kicked off the computer before I had a chance to finish this. Got as far as you sayin its a bit complicated between you and yur mate, so Im gonna have ta come in fresh on this one next day. Soooooooooo problems in the advice lines, eh? MAYBE I JUST BETTER GIVE THE ADVICE LINES THE OL INLAVALOVE CHARM. Heh HEh. I knew no one would be able to srew up the advice lines the way I can. Again thanks for the cigars. Me be back! Chasing the Rock and Roll dream for Life. Death is my back up plan!
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Hey sweety guess who is back too bad I deleted all my blogs ::SIGH:: I guess I will just have to start over. "Temptation is fun...Giving in is even better.."
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hey, ran into your blog thru a mutual friend. I too have had my share of health problems and at times I do shout at God just to end it...but I guess we have to live thru it anyway. but I'm curious on 1 point in particular...I have hyper tension and once in a while my blood pressure drops to normal and it feels like I'm dying when that happens. knocks me on my ass for a full day. anyway, have you ever gotten a reasonable explanation for this phenomenon? keep the faith.
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3/13/2008 10:22 am |
Hi KEN Nice seeing you back Big hugsssss
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