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Humpday Humor
Humpday Humor HOME DEPOT FOR WOMEN Charlie was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Bev to Home Depot. At Home Depot, Bev saw a beautiful Bathroom faucet while she was waiting for Walt, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Walt was finished, Bev asked "How much for that faucet?" Walt replied, "That's pewter and it costs $300 ." "My goodness that sure is a lot of money!" Bev exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy, and Walt went to the back room to find it. From the back room Walt yelled, "Bev, you wanna screw for that hinge?" Bev replied, "No, but I will for the faucet." This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot. SHAKY LIL' OLD LADY The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands, you'll remember this story: A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk: "Dddoo youu hhhave ddiilldos?" The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models." The old woman then asks: "Dddddoo yyyouu ccaarry a pppinkk onne, tttenn inchessss llong a aand aabbou t twoo inchess ththiick... aaand rruns by bbaatteries? The clerk responds, "Yes we do" She asks: " Dddoo yyoooouu kknnoooww hhhow ttoo ttturrrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offffff?" |
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4/13/2008 2:34 pm |
Hey Purp~~6 Screws for the hinge~~How many for the Faucet?? Be Safe/Warm Hugs~~Bill I came into this world with nothing, and I have most of it left~~
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature. Marilyn Monroe
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4/11/2008 1:57 pm |
Oh those stories the clerks must have to tell!
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4/11/2008 9:30 am |
I love Home Depot...I can go there and leave my brain at home. I let the pheromones do all my lifting , carrying and loading my car....hehehe
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4/10/2008 10:07 pm |
hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm wouldn't you rather shop for clothes???
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4/10/2008 8:22 pm |
gotta luv it!
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Oh, I needed that.... Thanks! The Swedish Angel What are we reading Those that makes me go hmmmmm
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you're killin' me! John Lee Hooker Recommended: [blog lucyjane78]
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4/10/2008 1:52 pm |
I love your sense of humor, Kiddo. Thanks for the laughs. Thanks for letting me share, Henry
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Very funny! Thanks for the laugh doll -tm
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..lol
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4/10/2008 9:22 am |
Those were darling!!! Thanks so much for the laughs, Purp!!! I can always count on you to put a big smile on my face! Love Ya!!! Sometimes we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
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4/10/2008 7:50 am |
Llllet meeee knooooww wwwwwhen youuuu fiiinnd oooout!
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4/10/2008 5:24 am |
Humpday?? Caution, Baby! It is near spring time around B.F.E. Time for you to start looking over your shoulder if you kneel to plant some flowers.[/size>>! I'm a Real sucker for nipples Originator of the Cock Salad
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4/10/2008 5:16 am |
I'd luv to kiss that "flowered vine" from your ankle to fun-ness!! Hi Babe! I was formerly 4uilicit! I'm a Real sucker for nipples Originator of the Cock Salad
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4/10/2008 5:08 am |
Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life Live Well Love Much Laugh Often
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4/10/2008 12:21 am |
Thanks for the giggle! I needed it today!
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Sue was the only applicant for the job at the local hardware store. Against his better judgment Bob, the Manager, hired her even though she lacked experience. Bob showed her around the store. "Here are the hammers. As you can see we have many different types," he said. He went on to name all the hammers and explain what they were used for. Sue listened intently and seemed to understand. He continued showing her the various tools and their uses. When they got to the files he said, "Here are the files, this is the cross cut, and this the rat tail and here is the big bastard." This outraged Sue who said, "I know I am new but there is no call for that kind of language." Bob said, "No, that is really what it is called, it is its legitimate name." Sue was dubious but took it all in. Later a customer came in and asked for help with the files. The manager thought this was a good time to test how much she had learned and let her help the customer. She took him back to the files and remembering what she was taught innocently asked, "Do you need a big bastard?" The customer replied, "No, just a little fucker."
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I bet the faucet took several screws My sis's boyfriend sent me that one about the shaky old lady and I laughed as hard when I read the email from him as I did when I read your post The Green Googling Word-Nazi Ranger
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No wonder all the women I know always come back from the home improvement stores with big smiles on their faces... maybe those stores should start hiring female managers. AKA The Clit Whisperer.
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